9/30/00
• Fuck this computer shit:
There won't be much of a weekend update till late tonight I'm afraid. Got a Motorcycle to ride.
Keep it Fast and Flat Black!
9/28-29/00
• The Fuckin Batbike:
My new bike arrived yesterday and we went down and picked it up. I was a little
nervous to get back on, seeing as the last time I was piloting a bike a big truck
flattened me. But I got over myself and rode the new beast home. Ducati Rob came
along for moral support on his bike and Lisa and Toto were in the car leading the
way home. All in all things went great! This bike is really fuckin nice, I was a
little speechless when I first saw it because it looks so much nicer than the stock
1200c. Enough of my babbling tho, I'll have photos of it up soon and if ya live here
in town I'm sure you'll see it soon. I'm really happy, I finally feel like I have
most of my life back.
• Rue and Buck Return Home:
So I got a message on the machine last night from Rue lettin us know that him
and Buck-Fitty are back home from thier crazy romp through the USA. I'm sure we'll
get a full report along wif some photos as soon as the guys get back into things
and get some time. Great to hear you guys made it home safe and sound! BTW, hey Buck,
howdidya like Lisa's present????
• Seven Samurai:
Wow, now this is FUGGIN COOL! I'm sure you've all seen the movie "the Seven Samurai" directed by Akira Kurosawa right??? If you haven't you need to go see it now!
Ok, so you saw it eh? Damn good flick eh! Ok, so check out this stuffe' I found on Ebay:
Yep, Seven Samurai action figures!!!! Too bad the guy sellin em' wants a thousand
clams for em! If you got the dough tho, here's where they are: http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=448251173
• Slackin in a coal mine:
Hey folx, sorry 'bout the lack of udates here in the news for the past few days.
It's been one after another with docter appointments, meeting with da lawyer, gettin
the arrangements for my new bike made, paying bills, blah,blah and more blah. Anyhu,
I'll trytomake up for it by givin you all a bunch o' moto-crapola to feast yer grubby
oculars on.
• Girl Gone Bad:
The PBS documentary group Independent Lense has produced a 1 hour documentary on Women Motorcyclists called "Girl Gone Bad". This looks to be really great, featuring women from all walks of life and all types of bikes. Here's the summary:
"From outriders to outlaws. From club mamas to dykes on bikes. From biker babes to weekend warriors. Producer Louis Yansen explores the world of women who have mastered motorcycles. At the heart of this documentary is the quest to understand the true nature of freedom and the true nature of self as each character we meet struggles to defy traditional stereotypes in the male-dominated world of motorcycles.(60 minutes) "
You can find out more about it here:
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/film_girl.html
and there's even a link that
will show you when it will be on in your hood.
• More FTFS:
Motorcycle Online just put up the schedule
for next years superbike races. Great! The bad news is that the AMA superbike races
are once again going to be sponsored by those fuckheads that make chevy trucks. FUCK!
I'm starting to think that joining the AMA was a waste if they're gonna buddy up
with the makers of tanks can drive through a house! I put up a nice little rant about
why I think the AMA shouldn't let chevy sponsor them. If you have time, head on over
to thefeedback section
of the article at the bottom of the page and put in your 2 cents. FTFS
• Issue 2 of MotoMama is out:
I just picked up issue #2 of MotoMamma
( previously MotoMuffin ) down at Tower Records. For those of you saying "WTF
is MotoMama??", MotoMama is a motorcycle magazine written by and for women.
It's got allot of good articles and commentaries in it, it's definately worth a look.
It's realy nice to see women in full gear posing on thier own bikes that they really
ride, won't get that from Cheezyrider. Also, if you know any women who ride or want
to ride ( or you're a women yerself) you should definatley pick an issue up.
• #15 of Motorcycho on the way:
Norman the Motordaddy kicked me down an email the other day lettin me know he's slappin together issue #15. He's accepting submissions in the form of articles, stories, illustrations, photos, fingerpainting with motor oil, etc,etc... If ya want issue #15 and don't know where the fuck to get it, just send $1 and 2 stamps (or $2) for an Envelope-o-stuff with the latest issue of Motorcycho - stickers - buttons and lotsa other shit you won't find anywhere else!
POBox 1564, Point Roberts, WA 98281, USA
Also, check em out online:
• Drivers tests SUCK:
Well, at least the ones the DMV gives for motorcycles does. How many of you out there are insulted by the bullshit circus act they make us do to get our licsense? Our friend Red here is real annoyed with it:
"Who here has been fustrated by the DMV's poor efforts
to help ensure motorcycle safety. You're right, there is really no effort. The cource
they designate for motorcyclists to get our liscence is a joke. The circle is too
small and shifting gears in a 11' space is rediculous. I see riders end up on the
road with no liscence at all. This is descrimination. Car drivers have a realistic
car course test, why can't motorcyclists have the same treatment for a fair DMV test
to get a liscence and learn safe riding? Can't we petition the DMV and get thier
out dated course updated and help responsible riders be safe on the road for everyone?
Please write me at the above e-mail address and I'll add you to the petition I will
be sending to the DMV. We live in a free country and deserve exal treatment! Thanks!
--Red"
So lets send him some names to put on that petition eh? Here's his
address
• Issue 198 of BSH is out:
Thassright! If you know where to find Back Street Heroes in the U.K., go grab one. For those of us living in the great land of Yank, we'll have to yank-and-wank to old issues for another month or two till it arrives on our shores. If you want a US subscription, RevD of the 893 kicked this over to me:
Motorsport
550 Honey Locust Rd
Jonesburg, MO
63351-9600
$54.00 per annum (ouch)
Here's at least what the cover looks like eh:
Real sharp GSXR fellas, but were are da levers??? DO'H!
9/21-22/00
• Riding through hell:
APTN videographer Miguel Gil Moreno de Mora was the man who was known for riding his motorcycle into war zones. Miguel's job and passion was to bring back the stories of the people who were living and fighting in many of the most dangerous places around the world. As the fates always seem to take away those fellow motorcyclists that least deserve it, he was killed earlier this year in an ambush by rebels 50 miles outside Freetown, Sierra Leone. Big Dave told me about this guy and sent me a link to the following page about him:
http://www.ap.org/pages/history/mgm5-26.html
There is a movie in Realaudio format at the bottom of the page. This is one biker
we are at a great loss without.
• FAAAAACCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!:
I'm just fuggin losin' my nuts right now waitin' for me new bike to arrive!!!!AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! It'll be early next week, I'm sure of that!
• Ghost Rider:
Here's a nice little chunk of news in from our hot dog lovin' friend Pseudo:
Heya Dan, here's a link over to one of my personal favorites as far as websites go,Dark horizons, they had this info on the upcoming Ghost Rider movie:
"Ghost Rider: Marvel's "Ghost Rider" comic title is on the drawing boards over at Dimension Films to become a movie with "Blade" writer David Goyer & Director Stephen Norrington re-teaming to do the story of a motorcycle stuntman who makes a deal with the devil and every night transforms into a demon. Not long ago Metropolis Digital was apparently approached to create a test piece demonstrating how Ghost Rider might appear in motion and using beta-stage software (at the time), Metropolis created a visualisation for a potential client. In the piece a leather-jacketed actor swings around towards the camera with murderous intent in his eyes (stills from which you can see in the image right along with a convention poster for the flick). Thanks to 'Plat'."
"David Goyer chatted a bit with Comics 2 Film about the upcoming film
adaptation of "Ghost Rider" and confrims Nic Cage has been in talks for
the role. Goyer has just begun writing a new script and says "Johnny Blaze is
the man in question, but it isn't an origin story. He's already the Ghost Rider when
the movie begins and we will learn very little concerning his past...There might
be some versions of some of the other Ghost Rider villains, but no one I'm prepared
to comment on at this time. There will definitely be some major supernatural hijinx
happening, that you can be sure of". Thanks to 'KC' & 'Chris'."
Oh yeah, now that's fuckin groovy, thanks Pseudo! When that one comes out we'll
all have to go see it! BTW, if you get over toDark
Horizons today you'll also get a chance to see the trailer for the sequel to
the Blair
Witch Project, which in my opinion looks pretty darn cool (yeah, being a low-budget
wannabe filmmaker myself, I thought they did a damn fine job on the last one of scaring
the piss out of people with just the previews).
• If Kaneda had a scooter:
This would be it:
This smokkin little scooter was thrown my direction by Bishop of the 667:
"You guys have probably seen these, but in case you haven't,
the bike in the pics was built by a Japanese design student. He never got around
to installing anything bigger than a Honda 125 scooter motor, but mostly he wanted
to prove it could be done. check out the pistol-grip handle bars..."
• My big fuckin rant for the day (long):
So here's the deal, I bought my new BMW R1200C Stiletto from Salem BMW in Oregon, they were one of the only shops that still had one, not to mention they said they'd pay for the $500 delivery charge. Damon, my salesman over at Salem BMW is one of the nicest guys I've ever bought a bike from and has gone that extra mile for me several time without even meeting me in person, what a guy!
So the problem is, the shipping company prefers to deliver the bike to a bike dealer, unfortunately it looks like Foothills BMW might be trying to yank me if I try to get my new bike delivered to their shop. They seem to think it's reasonable to charge me $165 bucks just to pop a crate open! So I'm gonna have to have the shipping company drop it off at their loading dock This of course isn't a huge problem, but I'd rather that the shop that is supposed to end up doing the routine maintenance (not to mention I told them I'd be buying all my future BMW stuff from them) take delivery of it.
So this is the next irritation in the saga of what has already happened to me at Foothills BMW. You see, originally I was going to buy a bike from them. But they pulled a 'bait and switch' on me,for anyone who doesn't know what a 'bait and switch' is, it's basically when a dealer promises you one bike package to get your deposit, and then turns around and says it's a more expensive package and refuses to give you back your cash. In this case the saleswanker at Foothills also promised me that if there was a Stiletto Edition at another dealer, he could and would get it for me. Then when he couldn't deliver, I looked around on the web and found a few Stiletto's at different shops. At this point the saleswanker said that the dealers never trade for the special editions. So he knew that he wouldn't be able to get me what I wanted all all along!
If that wasn't enough, he told me I was putting my money down on the 'Montana Edition', which comes with a couple grand in extras for only a grand more than the regular bike. Then, after they get my $500 deposit, he "finds out" it's not a special edition and they are gonna have to charge me a couple grand for the extra's! At this point the shop manager says they never refund anyone's deposit (even tho every other BMW shop I've talked to said that was bad business and they always refund the deposit if they don't sell you a bike), and they want to keep half of my deposit and give me the other half in store credit. Their reason for keeping $250 is because they had to:
a) Prep the bike with a battery and fluids
- The bike already had a battery and fuel and was ready to go before I put my deposit down. I know this because the day I put the deposit down, I turned the key and the lights came on, the fuel pump hummed and I could see in the inspection window on the motor that there was oil. So that's a load of crap!
b) they had to turn away other people who wanted the bike
- If there is that much demand I'm sure they would have no problem selling the bike they were reserving for me. And if that was the case why did the other black cruiser on the showroom still had a forsale sign on it weeks later? I find it hard to believe they couldn't outfit the other black cruiser with the extras the other bike had. Yep, another load of crap.
So, this wanker of a salesman seems to have no problems with lying to me or stealing
from me, and now the owner of the shop won't return my calls to fess up to the fact
that his salesman is a dirty cheating bastard. The big bummer with all of this is,
up until I started dealing with this jerkoff salesman, everyone in that shop was
really cool with me and never screwed me around on anything! Ugh! This is just gonna
make me really mad! I'll keep you all up to date on this whole ordeal and we'll see
if the shop turns out to be an honest bunch or lookin for a lawyer.
• A diamond studded butt plug:
If you've ever wanted to dress up that shabby old hole ya got, this is the place to do it! Warning: don't go to this site if you work a suit and tie job and are there right now......oh guess it's too late for that eh?
9/20/00
NEWSFLASH!!!!
• Outa Arizona......FINALLY!:
More news in from our road romping 893 brothahs, Rue and Buck:
"We leave for the Grand Canyon in the early AM. Thank the heavans!
We were stuck in Arizona for almost a week now due to yet another machanical malfuntion. Tattoo Chris's ghetto repair on my stator lasted ubtil about 60 miles outside of Phoenix, then it died. I was cruising along on some twisty roads in the late eve when it croaked on me. I lost all my lights and my bike was hanging on for dear life, good bike good bike, dont die in the middle of the Mohave Desert. I ended up getting a brand new stator from a niffty little shop in the hood of Phoenix (they had a salvage yard thar made Lunenberg look like tiny girlie man). Once that was fixed I was running fine for about a day....gggrrrrrr!!!!!!
We went to a great bar called TT Roadhouse , what a blast! They had motorcycle stuff from floor to roof , good stuff too. The locals there were really really nice. Its a must for anyone ever coming out here. So on the ride home I seem to foul my plugs, no problem , right? WRONG It turned out that my center two cyclinders were not firing but not the outer were. It turned into a 5 day exploratory and working on your bike in 110 degree weather every day has quite an affect on you. It turned out that I fried only half of my CDI box! What, HALF?? That never happens but it did go figure. I got a new one from BOB'S used motorcycle parts for $100, which I guess isn't to bad for a cdi box. I have learned more about the recharge and ignition system in the past four days to choke a small horse.
later all rue893 signing out
ps Beemer Dan tell Crazy Rob that the regulator/rectifier he gave me had a bad ground and it turned out the one I had was good so it all worked out fine ........ so far"
Glad you guys got all the bugs worked out (knock on carbon fiber)! Heya Buck,
my sweetheart found something shiny next to the register that you gotta have, it'll
be in your mailbox when you get home! Hope things go well for the rest of the trip
guys, we're all sending you good bikey mojo ( the psychic bikey mojo beam musta been
on the wrong trajectory for the last few days, I'll angle the titanium rod in my
leg different and tell Crazy Rob to sacrifice a few more rubber chickens). The best
of luck to you guys, keep it fast and flat black.
• Firestone breaks the Ton:
Woohooo!!!! 103 kills is the latest number in the saga of Firestone's "Tank
Killer" tires!! It looks like Firestone is doing more for the caause than any
of us could get away with! Firestone is claiming the tire falure is being caused
mostly by morons not keeping enough air in thier tires. The way I see it, that's
what those SUV driving fuckers deserve for slacking on routine maintinence of thier
vehichle. Did you know that underinflated tires can drop your gas mileage significantly?
Well if these morons want to get a giant tank that gets 10mpg in the first place,
and then not bother to keep thier tire pressure up and waste even MORE gas, fuckem!
They deserve to get smashed for being gluttonous lazy pigs! I gotta see if I can
find some photos of these splattered SUVs to wank off to!
• Word from Vegas893:
This warm message just in from Mikey Vegas of the 893:
"Hey- it's Vegas, the 893 sergeant at arms (if we actually
had
one.......it'd prob. me me...;-D) Sayin' hey.
I just wanna thank you all for bein' so hospitable-like to my brothers.
If you could post this on the page, I'd appreciate it, cuz' I know there
are many to thank out there in the land of thin air and big,sharp, pointy,
rocky things.
I love 'em a lot, and while I know that they are resourceful young men, I'm
glad that at least for a little while they were among friends, and could lay thier
pretty little heads without worry. ;-D
You've always got a friend in me, and the 893.
Be good, Brother.
Mikey Vegas
It was great having the guys out here for a week, we enjoyed hangin widdem! It
was a good reason for everyone to come outta da woodwork and have a great time. Any
of the 893 is welcome here anytime! On another note, a few of us aughtta be heading
out to you hood next spring to party it up a bit. Take care brothah, we'll see you
again soon! (we may even bring your evi...naw..goo.....naw...., um well, your west
coast twin Sumo Pat)
9/19-20/00
Earlyweek Update
• Reformatting some shit :
Allright, it was about time I swept out someothe cobwebs and put up some new stuffe'.
The frontpage is a little different, with smaller photos and a window right next
to the Headline News showin ya what's in the Gallery. Also, there are a whole bunch
of new articles up for your reading pleasure, along with a couple of nasty rants
I had to get outta my system;-) Another groovy new tidbit is a photoshoot of Eric
Eyeball's Suzuki Bandit 1100. Look for a bunch more articles, reviews and a ton of
gallery stuff to be up shortly.
• Some killer snappies of the intermot show :
This link just in from Secret Agent Johnny Socko of the 893- http://lonestar.texas.net/~arch/intermot/pics.html
It'sa bunch of photos of all the smokkin new rides at the Intermot show. If you've never heard of this show, it's one of the cool event's where all the bike companies show off the new stuff, to bad some of it will never end up over here. Some pretty killer stuff, wish I coulda gone to it, it's a thousand tits over the mangy little show Cycle World has here every year. I'm almost tempted to go out and get the chrome Monster, or maybe I'll just hold out for the 1150 BMW Roadster.
• Big Red:
Here's a really cool page Big Dave found. It's all about a female motorcycle courier gone roller derby. Big Red is her name, she seems like a pretty cool girl, nice bike too!
| • Black & Chrome: So Rue and Buck-Fitty of the 893 are big fancy movie stars it just so happens. Apparently they starred in a kickass biker flick called Black & Chrome. You can find out more details on the movie at Black and chrome.net . I'll be getting a copy right away for my rapidly growing biker movie collection. Also, the credit card payment option on the page is down for the moment, so the best way to buy is: Send $20.00 to Jeff Hudson. 36 Cheshire St. Jamaica Plain MA. 02130 |
 |
• This WILL NOT be happening :
What kind of an idiot would wanna make a BMW cruiser any slower than it already is??? Ya gotta admit, they did a pretty good job makin the styling match the bike tho.
Just so we're clear, I WILL NOT be doing this to mine! Well, unless I get hit by another truck., better get some good luck charms while I'm thinkin about it....
http://www.grinnallcars.com/choose.html
• Answers :
For everyone who has commented on the fact that I will be back on two wheels again soon, please note the following stupid answers to stupid questions (this should save us all some time)
Q: Are you sure you're OK to ride, isn't it too soon?
A: Nobody ever questioned my judgement when I went riding in 3 feet of snow, why start now. Of course I'm OK to ride, after almost four months of great weather and me spending all my fucking time inside the house gimped up in a chair, I'm ready for a fuckin road trip! Besides, if I don't get back on a bike soon I'll be changing the name of the page to the "Underground Terrorist Truck-Hating Cult"!
Q: Are you going to take it slow?
A: I don't think any of you need to worry on this one, I'm getting my first cruiser for a reason. If a truck gets behind me I'll be going as fast as fucking possible tho.
Q: Are you going to wear your gear?
A: No, I spent 1,200 bucks on gear so I could leave it at home. I learned my lesson that the one day out of the year you leave your lid at home you'll get smacked by a moron in the biggest truck on earth. Besides, there are plenty of others you can bug about not wearing gear.
Q: Is there anything we can do?
A: Hell yes! Don't make any plans for the next few saturdays after my bike shows
up, I've got a whole summer of riding with my friends to make up for. Oh yeah, don't
ask any of the above questions or I'll take the baffles outta my pipes and embarras
the lot of you by actin like a yuppie next time we're out.
9/15/00
it's friday eh
• Eighteen Hundred and Thirty Two Cubic Centimeters:
Whoa! What the fuck happened in Hondaland eh? OMG WTF BBQ!
Thanks to Big Al from the DUMP for this heads up on Honda's new 2001 lineup. And if ya dig Goldwings, how does this grab ya:
"Outfitted with an 1832cc flat six-cylinder engine, a lightweight aluminum dual-spar frame and a single-sided aluminum swingarm, the all-new Gold Wing® sets new standards for performance and handling, while still possessing the elements of supreme comfort. "
Also, they threw a totally different 1800cc big maphukka of an engine into a cruiser too:
I guess that makes my new 1200cc Beemer a middleweight eh? Now if they'd just throw that motor into a standard frame we could have a huge fuckin streetfighter! You can grab more info at the Honda page, I can't wait to see the custom stuff to come outta these!
http://www.hondamotorcycle.com/
• The return of the 667 page and a new message board:
Me and Eyeball are tidying up the details of ressurecting the 667 page and returning
to the world wide wank asap. If I got the info right it looks like Skip may be the
new webmaster. Don't complain folx at least he knows his shit, I always had to hack
everything. Also, the 667 and the UTMC will be using the same message board, and
if anyone doesen't like it, too bad. There are lotsa local folx that have roots in
the 667, and the 667 IS a part of the UTMC. Another new message board development
will be that any UTMC Member Cult or Individual Member will be able to link it up
directly to thier page if so desired. This way we will get everyone yakking on the
same board. There is a new message board in coding at the moment, if for some reason
it doesen't work out, we'll just have to invade Manzruin's
Peyote Tent;-)
• Some strange bike images:
Eyeball found these when he was wandering the web last night. And they're Beemers ..........strange:
"There is a realy sick triumph in there and some chopers
that even I would ride that says a lot considering I dont like to many BMWs, smell
you later EyeBall out>;) "
• Get yer rocket launcher:
Gee, Nissan has a new truck out that is just as much a big fuckin ugly killing machine as the rest of the stupid trucks out there! This stupid fuckin thing comes in a four door model tho so you can claim it's a "fun for the whole family deathmobile"! And get this, thier happy little catch phrase in the radio ads is "get it, before it gets you"! Now how the fuck are we supposed to interpret that???? Yeah, I'll be buying a rocket launcher this weekend so I CAN get it before it gets me!
Fuck off nissan!
• Cheap Beemer at the DUMP:
Big Al From DUMP just got in a 1976 R75/6
that he's willing to sell for $1,350. It's got good tires and is in pretty good shape
all around. Although it's not running at the moment, the diagnosis is that it won't
take much more than a new battery and some TLC to get it roadworthy. If ya want a
Beemer for cheap give the big guy a call.
• I gotta get one o' these:
This in from Pavement, I gotta get one!
9/13-14/00
Midweek Update
• Another message from Rue and Buck :
Yet another message from the beantown boys:
"Vegas was a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to
live here! It has been over 100 degrees since we arrived and sun is kickin my butt.
The Casinos were neato but loosing money is not so neato. Circus Circus is were its
at , clowns and trapeez artists INSIDE THE CASINO! We saw the rotating carosel wet
bars (Hunter Thompson) , talk abound getting the spins. We head out today for Arizona,
We decided that there was nothing left on the West Coast that we wanted to see (well
nothing worth riding in the 110 degree desert for that is, air cooled motor not so
happy) All you Californians will just have to shed a tear due to our lack of presence.
The Grand Canyon is the next destination , hello hello , echo echo.This will be the
last email for a while cause Socko's computer has bagged out on me and we wont be
near a major city except for maybe Phoenix. Who knows were playing the whole trip
by ear!
later rue"
• Vegas you say? :
Here's the latest message in from Rue and Buck:
"Yes thats right kiddies the beantown boys have made it all the way to the desert of lost dreams , yes , VEGAS! It is more like Disney than the best known gambling facility in the world. There are shows all over the place, more neon than you can shake a stick at , and buffets galore. We plan on checking out "The Strip" today so we can buy all yall some "crap" The ride from Denver was great! If you ever get the chance stay in Denver it is a must. I repeat a must! The guys from the 667 are some of the best people I and Buck 50 have ever met. Although it was kinda strange the way they were trying to get us to stay. Like they don't have enough problems already never mind us taking over Denver. I drank more coffee in the week that I was there than hopefully ever never ever never aaaaahhhhhhhh ! Well gotta go buy " crap " hope all is well with yall.
rue893
ps Dr Jason keep the rubber side down HAHAHHHAAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAh"
Thanks for the good word guys, you're welcome back any time! The best of luck
to you on the rest of the trail, and if you need a place to crash on the way back
don't hesitate to stop by......we'll even have some nice hot coffee ready. Keep it
fast and flat black!
• Gathering @ Paris tonight:
It looks like there's gonna be a big shindig at Paris tonight around 8 or 9pm
to celebrate the return of sistah Kellen. Be there if ya can cause it'll be killer
time eh.
• Satan is just alright with me:
Eyeball found a press release for an old safteybike design, unfourtunately it isn't >>>>>THE<<<<< Safety Bike of the Joan Claybrook era. This thing is realy fuckin scary tho. Check out this horrifying fuckin direct quote from the text:
"The Savior is a modified 1976 BMW R90S. It has about the same weight, power, and performance as the heaviest stock Harley-Davidson motorcycle."
Now that's just fuckin wrong! What the fuck did they to do to this poor R90S to
make it as impotent as the heaviest Harley?!?!? No dog on hogs intended( ok, maybe
a little bit of a dog on em), but that's really fucked up! Need I remind ayone that
the R90S won Daytona in the mid 70's? Lets be very happy that this jesus geek and
his monstrosoty never made it to assembley lines and sacrifice lots of goats and
lambs and virgins to the great dark one to ensure that the DOT will never, ever get
thier hands on this sick thing! Here
is a photo, a diagram of how fun it is to ride, and a bunch of text about this
fucked up freak of nature.
• Get some Booty:
Ever wonder where those Full bore MX's got thier start? Wanna know how long Alpinestar has been chuckin out thier footwear? This link sent in by RevD has a great history of motocross and riding boots. I'll have to find some photos of the original Doc Marten Gladiator boots to send em eh. This page is really cool!
http://www.classicboots.com/moto/fullbore.htm
9/11-12/00
Earlyweek Update
• And Then They Were Gone:
Well, after one of the best weeks of romping around town, yelling at the locals, sluggin coffee, doin mean burnouts and rubberizing Dr. Jason's bike for saftey purposes, we're sorry to se our dear brothers of the 893 go. It was a kick in the arse hangin with em, proving to me more than ever that we all gotta get out to Boston again soon to hang with the whole lot of em. Their next stopoff is in Las Vegas, where I'm sure they'll be kickin out another update and I'll spank it up here wif any photos for all to see. Also, sometime in the next week or so in the Gallery section I'll have a whole slew of photos from thier visit here and from the rest of the road. As I just suck at goodbye's I'll let the RevD Patrick do the honors on this one:
"The 893 Tour2000 has left the building. Special Agent To and I hung out with the boys while they lashed up their gear and then led them up the highway to where their journey West began again. It was a pleasure to see them, and to be on the giving end of the notorious Denver Welcome that makes ratty biker folk feel so good. Gawdspeed to our gritty lads, and may the mechanical gods smile upon you.
xxoo -rev-d-"
.....Well said RevD, we'll miss these guys!
• Sistah Kellen Returns:
Thassright folx, our sis Kellen has returned from the fabulous YooKeh! She's happy
to be home and looks like her time over there treated her well. BTW, she no longer
is the 6foot tall orangehairchick, now she's the 6foottallpurplehairchick, I got
photos but the camera's battery is rechargin. Anyhu, she brought back many photos
and great stories, ( not to mention a RooF helmet for yours truly). The best of the
tales and snappies will most likely be of her visit to the infamous Ace
Cafe, not to worry, she got photos-a-plenty, and they'll be up on the gallery
as soon as she gets em to me.
• Photo of the week:
Yeah yeah, so it's early to nominate a photo of the week, but I doubt we'll see anything more interesting than this unless Rue and the boys end up staying at the Mustang Ranch. It's yet another freak of nature sent in by Ian of the 667:
If you don't mind I'm gonna go flog the bishop now.
• Keep the rubber side....:
I found this somewhere on a German streetfighters site:
• News
from da MRF:
Here's a couple of recent press releases from the Motorcycle Riders Foundation:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE September 2000
Contact: Rosemary Curtin #00-15 Phone: 202-546-0983
Motorcyclists’ Rights: LIVE at 2000 Meeting of the Minds!
Motorcycle Riders Foundation’s Premier Annual Meeting Will Be Broadcast Live Via
Internet
MRF Washington, D.C. -- Concerned about motorcyclists’ rights and overall transportation
safety on the American road?
Better fly, drive -- or, preferably, ride -- to Oak Brook, Illinois, September 21
through 24, where the leaders of the American motorcyclists’ rights movement plan
their strategy for Election 2000 and beyond.
Can’t make it? ---- Tune in!!!.
This year, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation, the first voice for riders’ rights in
the nation’s capitol and the only Washington voice devoted exclusively to the street
rider, will hold its premier annual event, the “Meeting of the Minds,” at the Marriott
Oak Brook near Chicago September 21 through 24.
MRF members from across the USA -- and from Canada, Belgium, Germany and France --
are coming.
And if you can’t attend in person, attend on line.
MRF has selected INB Radio to transmit the conference live, on the Internet. A leader
in Internet streaming technology, INB Radio will transmit the conference live --
and make the conference available on archive for 60 days. (Click on <http://www.inbRadio.com>
now for
more details.)
“There are more than 6.7 million motorcyclists on American roads today - a half million
more new bike buyers this year alone ,” observed MRF Vice-President Tom Pauley. “We
are committed to enhancing their safety and protecting their freedom. The participants
at our meeting -- many of them the very founders of the American motorcyclists’ rights
movement -- will help set the future course for the American rider and the American
road.”
Mr. Pauley said MRF’s “Meeting of the Minds” will tackle the toughest questions in
American motorcycling today, among them...
• Will riders’ rights and safety count in Election 2000?
• Should an employee’s choice of transportation to and from work cost that employee
his or her health insurance?
• Can the USA learn from foreign nations where crash barriers are safer for motorists
and motorcyclists?
• Will the Motorcycle Safety Foundation’s new offering of better rider training get
a boost -- or the boot --when the U.S. Congress sets the priorities (in appropriations)
for the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration?
• Must the promise of globalization bring the curse of technical traps that all but
kill the American motor enthusiast -- both the motorcycle and automobile customizer?
• Will the push for harmonization squeeze the backyard mechanic out of options?
• Shouldn’t the nation’s first voice for street riders be heard at the United Nations?
“At ‘Meeting of the Minds,’ we do more than examine the important issues that impact
rider safety and riders’ rights on a federal, state and local level. We do more than
teach leadership, communications and legislative skills,” said MRF President Mark
Buckner. “We help set the course for safety and freedom of the American street rider.
Join us, even if you can only join us on line.”
For further information contact Rosemary via the MRF office at 202-546-0983 or by
e-mail at <Rosy@mrf.org>
IMMEDIATE RELEASE September 2000
Contact: Jay Jackson #00-14 Phone: 317-422-8474
State Motorcycle Safety Administrators Meet
The Motorcycle Safety Program of the Indiana Department of Education hosted the annual
conference of the National Association of State Motorcycle Safety Administrators
(SMSA) August 18-20 at the Lebanon Holiday Inn near Indianapolis, Indiana.
"We are pleased to be the host for the SMSA's conference," said Dr. Suellen
Reed, superintendent of public instruction. "Motorcycle safety education and
training have been a part of the Department of Education since 1987, and have played
a major role in reducing Indiana's motorcycle accidents and injuries by 50 percent
and motorcycle fatalities by 60 percent during the past 13 years."
Nationally, she said, motorcycle fatalities are at a 20 year low, thanks to the efforts
of the SMSA members and state motorcycle safety programs such as the one in Indiana.
The SMSA represents 45 of the 48 states with legislated motorcycle safety programs.
It is a national not-for-profit association, and accounts for more than 90 percent
of civilian motorcycle safety training conducted in the country through its members.
More than 300 motorcycle safety professionals attended this 16th annual national
conference, participating in workshops addressing insurance legal and liability issues,
designing mobile classrooms, the impaired rider and motorcycle in traffic testing.
Additionally, "hands-on" activities such as the NO ZONE from the US Department
of Transportation, BattleTrax sponsored by Harley-Davidson and Rider's Edge and sidecar
training conducted by the Virginia Rider Education Program were available. Those
present were also treated to a motivational keynote address by Dave Barr, a double
amputee who rode his 1972 H-D around the world. The world famous Indianapolis Police
Department Motorcycle Drill Team delighted the crowd with a breath taking performance.
Taylor Law Offices and John Ball Insurance (USIS) welcomed SMSA members with a reception
on Friday evening and The Harley-Davidson Motor Company sponsored festivities Saturday
night at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway Museum.
Prior to the conference, NHTSA funded a workshop focused on Public Information Activities
and Events. The Motorcycle Safety Foundation followed the conference with a Professional
Development Workshop August 20-22. Topics in the PDW included: new range exercises,
innovative training techniques and their new Dirtbike School. The MSF also announced
the 1999 award winners. The Award of Excellence went to the Technical Working Group
of the National Agenda for Motorcycle Safety.
ABATE of Indiana members and personnel from ABATE of Indiana's Motorcycle Safety
Division volunteered for duty in registration and operated shuttles as well as serving
as local ambassadors and tour guides. The 2001 SMSA Conference is scheduled to be
held next August in Reno, Nevada.
For more information contact Jay Jackson at 317-422-8474 or email at <jay@mrf.org>.
• Lots
more updates soon:
Sorry I've been slacking a bit in my duties as of late, it's been pretty busy around here. Not to worry tho, I've got articles from Revrend John, Dalls, myself and a few others ready for the features, plus the next installment of Area51's Missing Triumph. Not to mention 5, count em FIVE new photoshoots almost ready for prime time on tha Gallery page. Speaking of the Gallery page, I'll have some of the stuff from the old 667 page back up there soon too. So not to worry, there's more bikey stuff about to be here than you can shake a taco bell dog at
Yo Quero UTMC!
9/8/00
Lateweek Update
• Bahbahqoo at Bagoughly's:
There's gonna be a big BBQ rib slingin bash over at /6 Aaron's place tonight around
um.......well, just give him a call to find out when. Da 893 boys will be there along
with all yer favorite schmucks from here. Give Aaron a call for all the details and
bring stuff like beer and soda and chips and all that. Seeya there!
• SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!:
Rue, Buck-Fitty and Tat2 of the 893 will be burnin outta town sunday morning,
so if ya wanna meet up widdem do it before then. We'll be doin the bash /6 Aaron's
tonight and maybe a jaunt down to Alley Cat courtosey of Skiny Rob. There will probably
be more hangin at
• nazi bitches get the smackdown:
A jury in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho has ordered the nazi fuckhead group 'aryan nations', to pay 6.3 million for trying to play jackboot with a woman and her son after their car backfired near the aryan nations 'whitetrash compund of ignorance'. Apparently the woman and her son were having car trouble on a road somewhere near the 'compound'. Two moron nazi weenies that acted as 'guards' for the compound got scared, feeling that the threat of a defenseless woman and her child were more than they could handle. They therefore did the only thing nazi facist morons know how to do and threatened the woman and her 'dangerous' little boy with guns, screaming and terrorizing them.
The jury in Idaho decided to send a message out to all of the facist moron nazi panzy groups all over the country by forcing the 'aryan nations' to pay 6.3 million bucks in damages. The american people want these nazi dorks to know that we don't want them here and aren't afraid to tell the to get the fuck out! This will effectively bankrupt the nazi pigs and force them to pimp thier white pride butts to make money.
So I just gotta wonder, what nations are actually IN the 'aryan nations'?? As
far as I can tell it's just a bunch of silly racist white trash meatheads from the
midwest..... they couldn't even really call it the 'aryan states' they're so small.
Maybe they should call it the 'aryan county'.......well, nope, thier compound is
gone now. Hmmmmm.......maybe they can now be the 'aryan gymnasium at a local elementary
school that lets them use the space tuesday evenings'. Naw, no school would let them
in. I guess they'll just have to be the 'aryan homless bitches who give blowjobs
for quarters and snickers bars', yeah, that sounds about right. I love being part
of the Great Jewish Conspiracy;-)
• Smokkin Cruiser:
Here's a nice R1200C custom from Scot/NC.
"here you go. She is almost done. Still need to rear set the
pegs, lower and narrow the handle bars, and maybe if I live right I'll find a way
to slip the girl into a nice little R90S fairing. Enjoy!
Scot/NC"
He's added lotsa parts from other Beemers including magnesium heads from an R1100s
and the mag wheels from a K1200RS. With any luck I'll be doing a gallery shoot on
it soon.
9/7/00
Midweek Update
• Rue and crew livin' it up:
Ok, so nobody's havin orgies wif sex crazed ski bunnies or anything (so stop yellin at Rue), but everyone seems to be havin' a good time. The bikes are all almost fixed and last night we got some food and then they went out to raid the town. I stayed home as my meds got me somewhat knackered. Here's an update from the Cookie Man himself:
"hey kids ! All is well these days on the trip that was
slightly askew due to
a couple of machanical problems. The eletrical problem of mine was due to
the fact that the bolts that hold my stater in place had all come loose and
were scraping the heck out of the sides and making a nasty sound as they
scrapped the inner plate. All was not lost though the repair only ended up
costing me about 5 bucks (he he) I got lucky having such great mechanics
with many a tool at our disposal. Chris's problem is now fixed as well , he
had a really really hard time changing his brake pads which were toast. He
had to take the calipers to a shop cause the bolts were on there with the
power of Zeus's mighty hand.
We hung out with some really cool cats from the 667 today. They seem to keep
the coffe industry in business.They ALL haave been some of the best people I
have ever met in my whole life. Each one of them seem to be really be
concerned for our well being. (It is real nice) If any of you get a chance
check out Beemer Dan's web site it's real tasty and he has been posting all
of these letters. www.itchy.itsamac.com
We leave for Vegas soon and we will place a bet for anyone who has a
suggestion.
later rue
ps I cant be held accountable for Buck's wacky e-mails he's plum crazy just
ask any of the 667 "
Thanks for the nice words Rue, were delighted to have the three of you guys out here hangin with us. My only regret is that I'm not back on two wheels yet, but I will be next spring when I hit the east coast.
We're gonna finally be peepin the bike shops this afternoon, so if any of you
out there got the day off, page me or email me and we'll hook up. Not sure what tonight
looks like, probably more coffee and goofin around, maybe some burnouts and wheelies
and random hoolaganism.
• Stone: The Movie:
I found this on the web when I was lookin fer porn, it looks pretty cool. It's a movie from the early 70's about a biker gang on a long ride to bury a fellow scoot jockey. It was made in Australia, and we all know the killer kind of bikey movies that come outta there. I emailed the webmaster to see if we can get an NTSC version, if not I may end up getting the PAL version and trying to get it converted.
• Motorbike Couriers:
I just picked up this months issue of Motor Cyclist and they have an article on
London's motorcycle couriers, it looks like it'll be pretty good. On another note,
I may be cancelling my subscription to Cycle World and getting one for Motor Cyclist.
You see, Motor Cyclist has absolutely NO truck advertisements, let alone that "watch
your back" ad from ford and harley that depicts a truck about to run over a
bike. See ya CW, you guys should have stuck with the less dangerous advertisers like
the tobacco companies.
• Firestone nears the TON:
The latest score on Firestones kills is up to 88 with no signs of slowing ,at
this rate pretty soon it'll hit the ton. Tests have shown that the Firestone "Tank
Killer" tires do have a tendincy to shred easier than other tires, but the fatal
rollovers are caused by the fact that the SUV's have a high center of gravity. So
for everyone out there who bought a SUV 'cause it was safer for them, enjoy your
one blowout=death truck. Tine to print up some new bike stickers that say: "Stop
the recall Firestone!"
• Picture of the Week:
For everyone who's seen that "watch your back" ad from ford and harley that depicts a truck about to run over a bike, here's a photo from XJoelX in CapeCod:
"My brother sent me this picture from somewhere on the
web because I used my Hawk as a roadblock earlier this summer. I stopped for some
folks to use the crosswalk, the loser in the Blazer behind me didn't. No bad damage
other than a really pissed me, but the great part was his excuse : * Sorry ,I though
you were a moped * . Yep, no shite .
XjoelX"
Damn, and I thought the guy who hit me cause he was in a hurry to get a haircut
was the biggest moron on earth! I hope the bastard is buyin you a new bike man.
• FTFS:
Fuckin Trucks Fuckin Suck:
FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS
FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS
FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS
FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS
FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS
FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS
FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS FTFS
FTFS
9/5/00
• Da Latest:
Dinner last night with Rue and Buck-Fitty was a great time! It looks like the guys will be in town for a few days to fix thier bikes and take in the city. They'll be off to DUMP today to get some parts and then they'll be makin some repairs. Other than that they don't have much for plans so we'll be playin' it by ear. I'll update again this afternoon with more info. BTW, Rue has a possible plan of staying on for a bit if he can find some apprentice work doing tattos, so if any of you have any leads outh there drop me an email and I'll get word to him. Here are some snappies of yestadah's brefface:
Buck-Fitty gettin brotherly wif da beez
Rue digs the eats selection
The Double assed cow diagram
Waitin for da grub
Tatto Chris get's funk wid da kung-fu action.
• Gallery stuff:
I've almost got the gallery photoshoot of Eric Eyeball ready to go, also I'll
have a bunch of photo's of this recent visit from Rue, Buck-Fitty and Tat2 Chris.
Also look for old stuff like Socko's visit, some snappies of the old 667 events and
all that. It'll be real good, so keep checkin in.
• Streetsundfightin':
A German Streetfighter's magazine??? Yep! It's called 'Fighters, and it looks pretty cool! I'm gonna try to get a subscription, if I succseed I'll let ya all know. It's a nice rag with lotsa lowered, hopped, nitro'd, rearseted, bugbutted, enduro barred, slabbed, tricked, funky painted sort of beasts just like you'd see in the British Streetfighters magazine. Here's a link to it, and here's a link to a translator
9/4/00
Earlyweek Update
!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS UPDATE 6pm!!!!!!!!!
Buck Fitty, Tatto Chris and Rue Da CookieMan
all appear to be well and in good spirits. The laundry list of damaged bits on thier
rockets is small and will be easily remidied with a trip to DUMP tomorrow am. On
hand for tonight is a big steaky dinner at the Black Anus Steakhouse, call me or
the Dr. for details on what time and all that. Also on hand for tonights festivities
is a romp to Paris or Buzz or Brother's or maybe Netherworld(Nether is unlikely tho).
!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWSFLASH
12pm!!!!!!!!!
Word just in from Dr. Jason, it looks like
we're al gonna be storming Chef Zorba's about 12:30 or 1pm. It seems Rue's GSX has
a mild case of noworkie, so he'll be chillin in the Dr.'s sidecar today, with an
early parts run to the DUMP tomorrow morning. The bunch will be bikin around today
with Lisa, Toto and I running up cage and camera support. Hope to see everyone at
breakfast or during the day.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming....
• Word from Rue and crew:
This just in from Buck Fitty:
"Well, we made it to Denver. I am compiling this e-mail at
Dr. J's kitchen
counter sipping my java so civilized. Rueben's stator was on it's way out,
but disintegrated with a mighty wallop as we cruised through downtoown
Denver. Thank ganesh that Jason had a truck! I still haven't found a
battery and we think my regulator/rectifier is a crispy lump of CACA. Aaah,
now for some R&R, and some pretty mountain girls who are lonely for some
grubby biker lovin',Boston style! my ass is killing me and Tattoo is still
a whiny beehatch with a very comfy seat. Some things never change.
Yesterday, in Kansas we stopped at prairie dog land,(aka derelict roadside
zoo)and saw one of the worlds best kept secrets...a cow with 2 extra legs
hanging on either side of its tail!how does it poop you ask? It has 2!
browneyes one on either hip! The beauty and grandeur of all the Lords
creations is very humbling...oh yeah, they also had jackelopes, I stared
into the creepy jakelope eye and don't think I'll ever be the same.The
horror of it! so long for this chapter,loungin mile-high style,(hey if we
get to grinding hoo-hoos do we get our mile-high club decoder rings)love and
double cow asses from the road.
Cmdr. Buck Fitty, 893 and beyond. and rue too"
9/1-3/00
Weekend Update
!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWSFLASH
9/3/00!!!!!!!!!
Word just in from Dr. Jason that Rue and
gang of the 893 Boston are en route and should be arriving in Denver tonight! Give
me or Dr. Jason a call or page for details on what will be happening or check back
here. We'll be bashing our heads together looking for a good place for sushi and
if anyone has a BBQ and a yard we aughtta do oneofthose too. I'll be updating the
page every 12 hours as is the norm when we got guests from outta town.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming....
• Da Cookie Man Cometh:
 |
This just in from Brothah Rue of the 893: "Hey kids were all alive and doing well (sore bottom is no good though) we had a few problems to start of with 1) Tattoo Chris's petcock o-ring went bad so we left one day later than planned 2) on the way to RI my bike almost overheated due to a sticky throttle (yuka) 3) Campy's battery went bad because it was bone dry (duh) We seemed to have worked out some of our bugs and are having a wonderful time. We are now in Missouri just out side of St Luis. We have traveled over 1200 miles in just two days, not bad for new jacks huh? Well we all send much love and will keep you updated, did I mention the sore bum thing? later/ rue" God speed to ya guys, hope all the problems are miles behind ya. To everyone here in the land of the black helecopters, go ahead and drop me or RevD an email if ya got a spare room or a couch for Rue an Co. to sleep on, oh ,and also lets work out where we're gonna do the bbq eh? |
• Ride to Work:
Finally, an organization that's by and for bikers who ride all the time, every
day! Ever wondered when you were gonna find an organization that was gonna fight
for stuff like free motorcycle parking, tax breaks for bikers, better insurance rights
for folx that ride all year and not spend all their time, money and lobby efforts
wanking about on those stupid helmet laws???? Personally, I don't give a fuck if
yuppie joe gets to cruise on Sunday without a lid, there are much more important
things we need to be fighting for. Well, Ride
to Work just got my membership, because they understand the priorities of bikers
that ride all week and not just on the weekend! They don't have much of a webpage
yet as they are pretty new, but that just means they need support even more. Send
them your name and address and I guarantee they'll send you info that will convince
you to join up. Annual memberships start at $25 and include a shirt, button, sticker,
and a subscription to their newsletter The Daily Rider. Also, you'll get the
warm fuzzy feeling that you're doing more than just sitting around pissed off that
you get treated like second class citizen by the world of the cagers.
• RevD still has the coolest one tho:
So after loads of searching about I've finally found a motorcycle Aloha shirt:
It's still not quite as cool as the one Revd has, but it'l l do! It looks
to have Harleys, Triumphs, Villocettes and Vincent Black Shadows in the pattern,
pretty cool. BTW, I'm I the only one who never knew that aloha shirts were this pricey???
• Voxan News:
Here's a quickie article from Motorcycle City about Voxan's current offerings. Voxan is a small motorcycle manufacturer based in France that creates some really cool bikes. On the downside they won't be showing up in the US anytime soon. Anyone know a good greybike importer????
• Riding
in the snow:
I found this article on the BMW motorcycles page yesterday morning and it made me miss riding more than ever! Apparently these two guys decided to ride through West Virginia in the winter! Now it may be a publicity stunt, but it's cool none the less for loopy bastards like us who ride through the winters of Colorado and Wisconsin and such.
• A page for Nekkid Bikers:
And now for something completely different, a webage for nekkid bikers! It's the North American Nude Motorcycle Riders Association, yeah, I dig the short name! Anyhu, here's some folx that seem to take their love of their bikes to the point that they may need some KY jelly! Here's an excerpt from their frontpage:
"Thank you for stopping by the NANMRA website. If this
is your first visit to NANMRA then WELCOME!
Our site is for those that know how to have fun in life! It does not matter what
your motorcycle skill is, or even what your nudity skill is. We have something for
everyone. Motorcyclists, nudists, exhibitionists voyeurs, NANMRA members, and non-members!
The main requirement is that you like to have fun in life!
And remember...ALL NUDITY ON OUR SITE IS Y2K COMPLIANT!"
Of course, you could always have a Giant
Jelly Willie instead.
• How To GSXR Your GSX:
Here's a page of tips from Taff, the webmaster of Awol,
Back Street Heroes, Slingshot
UK and Bikes of the Webmasters.......man,
this guy gets allot done! Anyhu, here
in this very spot is clear and nice details on how to get a GSXR tailcone to
look and fit neat and tidy on your GSX.
• Oily Bits:
-Ever seen a Vmax with a sidecar?
-Read the Top Ten Rejected Slogans for Firestone Tires
-Check your tire pressure as you ride
- Need a place to mount stuff on yer bars?
- Proof that Clinton has a gift and we should give him another four years.
- Here's a thingy that's cheaper than a throttle lock and better on hilly spots
- A really sharp BMW R1100S right here
8/30-31/00
Midweek Update
• News from da Cookie Man:
This in from Brothah Rue of the 893:
"Today starts the new era. I am leaving on a jet plane I dont know when Ill be back again. For those of you we plan on stopping in on "Leave the porch light on"
Love at you all
ruerue da cookie man"
With any luck he'll in CO in a few days to a week, lets all prep the BBQ's and
make some reservations at the sushi joint eh? If any of you wanna help plan festivities
email me or give The RevD a call.
• Got all Hack'd on Sunday:
So Sunday night Dr. Jason and RevD decided it was time to try and get me back
on a bike. I didn't really argue since I've been dying to ride all summer. So the
Dr. got the /2 with the sidecar and I got my gear. I had to convince my girlie I'd
be fine, she was reluctant, but she knew I needed it. So off we were to grab some
dinner and go hang at the coffeehouse. In the above photos you can see my crutches
sticking out, I think we need to get him some little ambulance flags for the sidecar!
Dr. J was damn good at manuevering the bike to avoid potholes and other road hazards.
All in all it was a great night out and it was great for me to finally get the wind
in my face again. Thanks Dr. Jason and RevD, you guys have done allot for makin my
recovery go faster!
• Kill the biker playset:
As much as I don't want to offend our Harley riding readers (yeah, believe it or not we even have a few), I just gotta rant about the shit that the Milwaulkee lifestyle peddlers will liscense.
Here we have a motorcycle and a truck being sold as one package, what are supposed to deduct from this diametrically opposed pairing? This of course is only a small disturbance, as the real fucked up deal is with the fact that there is a REAL Harley Davidson, special edition Ford truck! Yeah, I'm sure you've seen the 2 page spread advertisement showing the handlebars of a Harley from a riders view and a big nasty ford truck tailgating in the mirror with the words "Better watch your back" written across the page. Yeah, that ad holds alot more truth then those idiot adverising execs could ever know. I can't believe Cycle World has no problem at all with running an ad that represents a motorcycle about to be run down by a truck, what the fuck are they thinking?? And shame on those stupid fucking morons at HD for liscensing such a rediculous monstrosoty! I think I'm gonna write a letter or two to Cycle World and let em know how I feel about thier advertisements. As for HD, something tells me they are so far down sellout road they won't give a damn what anyone says.
Fuckin Trucks Fuckin Suck!
• Norman is cookin up da stickers:
Manzruin had a good idea in response to my rant the other day about how insurance companies treat us. He wants a sticker for his bike that says :"THIS IS NOT A RECREATIONAL VEHICLE". Well I thought that was a pretty good idea, so I got on the line to MotorDaddy Norman of Motorcycho (our premium source of underground bikey stickers) and put in a request. Norman is gonna print em up and should have em' goin out with the next issue of Motorcycho! If ya want to be on the mailing list send a couple bux in an envelope with yer address to:
Motorcycho
POBox 1564,
Point Roberts, WA
98281
USA
• Motoballs:
This in from Stefan of The Rat Bike Zone :
"have you Americans ever heard of the strange sport of
Motoball? It's like a cross between soccer/football and flat track racing, they used
to play it in the town where I grew up. Also very popular in Russia... There never
was anything on the web, but now there's a site (albeit in German). Check out http://www.motoball.de - click on "Einige Bilder" to see some pictures
Enjoy...
Stefan"
This looks like a fuckin blast! Something tells me this could
catch on pretty quickly here considering the abundance of cheap dirtbikes and lunatic
types of bikey folk we have!
• Ian and Pinto quit drinking:
Yeah, no shit! Ian was never a lush so to speak, but I think I only have one picture
of him where he isn't holding a beer. So that makes two pictures in existence where
he isn't holdin a beer, I think his Mum has the other one. Pinto on the other hand
started much later than Ian but was making it up in short time. Well, word has it
they have both quit cold turkey. Congrats guys, I hope things continue to go well!
• Photo of the Week:
Yeah, there's two this week. The first one in from Ian of the 667:
Well, at least the wankers in the car probably got whacked too!
Next up is a pretty good visual of the truth in the republican campaign:
Now if we could only get a photo of buchannan in a nazi uniform and cardboard
cutout of Gore, we'd have em all! Well, except for the green party, but they shoulda
nominated Jello Biafra!
8/25-27/00
Weekend Update
• Socko and Lady tie the knot:
Special agent Johnny Socko and Lady Amanda of the 893 tied the knot this weekend!
Dr. Jason and RevD were in Boston for all the festivities and will hopefully get
a few photos to bring back with em. I was snubbed from going due to still being in
recuperation from the truck running me over, but plan to make it out next spring.
Knowing Socko and the 893 this was a huge bash not likely to be rivaled anytime soon.
Congratulations to both of you!
• I Almost have my new ride:
Well, it took alot of searching and a few headaches, but I've finally found the bike I was looking for and will be buying it right away:
It's a 2000 BMW R1200C Stiletto, only 150 were brought into the US, best of all
it's got lots of black. Ok, so it's not my usual cafe racer type of ride, but I'm
gonna be riding mellow for a bit. Somehow I think an R1100s would be wasted on me
right now with my nerves shot from being run over. I'm sure it'll be back to cafe
racers and riding in foul weather in a year or so, but for now I'm just gonna sit
back and relax.
• Big Fatass Webmaster:
So there have been rumors as of late that my gurth has been expanding eponentially, well I 've decided that you, the UTMC members, should be the judges. So without further blubbering about, here's a picture of me sitting on my bike with /6 Aaron:
See, we're the prime of health eh?
• Quite possibly the ugliest bikes ever:
I found these disgusting excuses for a two wheeled machines stinking up Ebay. Damn, these bikes are fuckin ugly! Far beyond offensive, not only are they a horrible waste of a Honda inline four, but I doubt they can even be ridden!
Goddamn! even the room these things are in is ugly! Here
and here
are links to these sick freaks of nature. Man, they look like someone puked up a
bunch of pizza and milkshakes!
• Glad I'm not rich:
So here I am, all nervous as fuck about buying a $15,000 bike. What if it get's
stolen? what if I can;t make rent? What if I can't afford the payments and have to
pimp my ass on the street? Most of the folx we all know would have similar concerns
about buying an expensive bike. Now magine how stinking rich you gotta be to think
seriously about buying Troy
Corser's 1998 Ducati 996 for $95,000.00! For this much you could get a Vincent
Black Shadow, or a Bough Superior....maybe both if you found a deal! Anyhu, it's
just loopy to see that it's even a real offering. I hope I never get so rich I buy
a bike just because a racer's ass rubbed it in the superbike races!
• Motordaddy Norman to go live:
Norman of Motorcycho, everybody's favorite postcard size Motorcycle Zine has had
his radio show broadcasted all over Canada, the land of flippyheads, for quite some
time now. Well, for all of us everywhere else in the world this was lame, cause we
couldn't hear it. Well be bummed no more, starting in October, Norman Motordaddy's
motorcycle radio show will be broadcast all over the world via the WWW! I have Norman
keepin me up to date on things, so as soon as it's all up, you can hear it, eh.
8/24/00
--more bikey news than you can wave yer genitals at--
• Firestone reaches 62 kills:
Those fantastic "tank killer" tires all the cagers are calling defective
just reached a confirmed kill count of 62! The victims are mostly driving big ford
trucks and suv's, namely the ford explorer, which comes with the smokkin Firestone
tank killers straight from the factory! Hey, maybe even that twat that works retail
at Fey Meyers Motorcycles (the one that told RevD and I that we shouldn't ride on
the street) will get a little taste of the exploding tire love from her ford explorer(
she really wants to trade it in on something even more dangerous to the common public
::shudder::). Anyhu, let's make sure to inform people this isn't a consumer tragedy
(like lamer news agencies like CNN would have you believe) but a karmic payback for
all those bastards that wanna be "safe" at the expense of others!
• /6 Aaron has a smokkin idea:
Got this in from brothah /6 Aaron the other day:
"Dan, I had this thought last night on my way home and
thought you might be interested...
What if you were to add a couple more areas to the message board...you could add
a Dear Pave section where Pavement could answer questions for the lovelorn. RevD
could answer motorcycle spiritual questions, Pseudo could handle the questions about
Bab 5 and movie releases and I could answer legal questions and make snide remarks
about the impending girth of our web master. This is just an Idea but I thought you
might like it...or not."
SHIT MAN!!! That's a great idea, well except for the part about my fat ass, that
should be left strictly to xxx rated movies and pie eating contests. We'll have to
add some disclaimers on the advice from you and Pave, but I dig it!!! I'm gonna spend
the next few days trying to remember how to hack the code again, this also means
we may lose the Green Highway and Classifieds sections, but nobody really uses those
emuch anyhu, and they would be better incorporated into the Rants and Rides section.
So look for the changes in the future, thanks Aaron!
• Anyone running with Dairyland?:
I was looking to get insurance on my soon-to-be-new bike and found Dairyland.
They seem to be pretty well tuned to the needs of motorcyclists, with discounts
for good riding, years of experience, alarm systems, garage storage and membership
in groups like ABATE, AMA, BMWMOA, BRAG, CMA, CWRRA, GWTA, HOG, MSF, MGNOC, STAR,
CSCA, VTS, and WOW. They also have discounts for multiple bikes and they'll insure
you for a thousand bucks worth of your gear. I'm thinkin that sounds like a pretty
good deal. If anyone out there has had a god or bad experience with these guys please
start up a thread on the message board or email
me.
• A recrcreational WHAT?????:
Hey, any of us two wheeled bastards that live in states where it snows in the
winter may be in real trouble if you we whacked by a cage. You see, for some reason
insurance companies consider motorcycles a "recreational vehichle" in states
with snow. Their theory is that nobody rides in the winter time, therefore it's only
a summertime fun toy. Well we run into problems with that because if you get into
a wreck, they don't by law have to cover you in any way with personal injury protection.
That means everything from hospital bills to lost wages. Essentially, if a bastard
in a big truck runs a red and puts you in the hospital and flattens your bike, your
problems have just begun. Unless you have a good medical insurance policy and a boss
nice enough to keep paying you while you're laid up, you're fucked. Say goodbye to
anything that can get repossesed and ya better have someone pay your rent, otherwise
you'll be evicted. Not to mention anything resembling good credit will go straight
down the shitter. Yeah, I was pretty lucky that I had a wonderful girlfriend, lots
of friends to help me out and take care of me, and not to mention my job gave me
full medical benefits and was very understanding. I now know what could have happened
to me, and I'm not willing to just sit back and let that worst case scenario happen
to everyone out there on two wheels. I've joined the AMA, ABATE and the MRF, I'm
gonna start asking questions, kicking dicks, taking names and writing letters. If
there is any way to stop this discrimination against us I'll find out! I'll be posting
everthing I find here on the UTMC page, so stay tuned, we'll win this one!
• Linked up to BSH:
It looks like the UTMC page is startin to run with the big dobies of bike publishing,
we got a bigass link from Back Street
Heroes!! With any luck we may even make it into an issue or two, time for me
to get more done on the Gallery section eh?
• Burn Circut's upcoming events:
Pinto Josh of the 667 emailed me with the upcoming shows for his killer band, Burn Circut:
"Just writing to remind you of these upcoming shows...
Tuesday August 22nd at the Lion's Lair:
Anomy
Burn Circuit
Cruxshadows(national)
$4 starts at 10:30
Thursday August 24th at The Gothic Theater:
The Rocky Horror Freak Show featuring,
Burn Circuit
Obeah
Fiction 8
$6, 8pm, all ages, Drink specials and prizes for best rocky horror
costumes.
Saturday September 2nd at The Crickett on the Hill:
Erotick(ft. collins)
Hallow(ft. collins)
Burn Circuit
$3, 9pm
Come to these shows, They will all be good.
Josh
www.burncircuit.com"
• Taff's streetfighter for sale:
Taff, the webmaster for such sites as Back Street Heroes, Slingshot UK and Bikes of the Webmasters, has decided to sell his really, really nice GSX 1100 EZ streetfighter. This is a great ride if you wanna humiliate all the squids on new sportbikes or just ride like a daft bastard, this is the hoolaganmobile for you.
150mph, 100bhp, 50mpg and full MOT. As seen on the Streetfighters stand at Rock
& Blues Drive away for £2.2k - 07710 485765, or you can email Taff HERE.
8/21/00
--What am I, some kinda slacker??--
• Whahappened toda weekend update???:
It's that whole lazy thing kickin in eh. Seriously, I kept meaning to but just
couldn't find anything really very newsworthy over the weekend. So, I didn't update
it, sorry 'bout that. On the good side I was out and about a bit this weekend and
even filled out the financing paperwork for the new bike, now if I could just decide
what that new bike was gonna be. It's a toss up between a BMW R1100R Roadster, a
BMW R1200C Cruiser or the really nice BMW R1100S. I'll be looking at the BMW brochure
wanking off this week trying to decide. Of course there is a chance that my credit
is just lame enough that I'll have to get another Roadster, but I think I could handle
that;-)
• $25,000 2-Stroke? Really???:
Here's an article from MCN about a veeeeeerrrrrryyyyy expensive Suzuki 500 2-stroke project.
The bike really lsounds like a killer machine, especially with 138bhp and the
same gas mileage as a ford excursion!
• I got
a bunch of new gear:
So I'm in the proccess of armoring up for getting back on the bike. I used to wear lots of gear because I knew it could save my arse if I ever got in a bad wreck, well now I know it will. I still have a leg thanks to my buddy Nate who did the custom building and armoring on my MX boots (Thanks Nate, I owe ya big time!!!!!). So anyhu, I've picked up a Teknik spine protector, a pair of the mean ans fuck Olympia carbon kevlar gloves, I'm soon gonna get a custom pair of armored leather pants (no chaps) and Kellen's bringin me back a roof helmet from the YooKeh. Here's what I'll look like when I've got everything:
Ok, well I'm still in the assembly stages, so maybe not. Anyhu, at least I'll fit in with the guys:
;-)
• PowerPuff
Goths:
I know this is off topic, but it's really pretty funny:
http://www.gothic.art.br/gothikgirls/en/chars.htm
t it' BTW, if you've never seen the PowerPuff Girls on the Cartoon Network you
won't understand. What am I doing watching a show called The PowerPuff Girls? Wake
up folx, I've been stuck in a chair for the last 90 days on heavy narcotics, whaddaya
think I'm gonna watch the republican convention???
• Van
Damme a big lamer wimp mommas boy:
I was wandering through the worldwidewank lookin for a hawaiian shirt
with motorcycles all over it (RevD has one and I've decided it aughtta be a staple
in everyones closet) and I for some retard reason I found a page about the movie
Hard Target. Now this was John Woo's first and worst movie in the USA. Although John
Woo kicks more ass than a shiny pair of donkey skin boots and has directed some of
my favorite flicks, there were three main reasons why Hard Target sucked so bad:
1) Universal pictures is fuckin lame.
2) The MPAA are a bunch of censoring jackasses that wouldn't know a good movie if it fell outta the sky and sat on thier face.
3) Van Damme is a egotistical wanker and a big mommas boy.
If you don't believe me about the Van Damme thing, take a look at this lame excuse for a stunt:
Notice the training wheels???? Now even the lamest riders I know (ok, maybe only
some of the lamest riders I know), could do a stunt like this without training wheels
on the fuckin bike. Yeah, so maybe he can kick the crap out of a room full of people
and do the splits, he's a dweeb in my book cause he can't ride without training wheels.
8/17/00
• The Gallery of the UTMC Active Field Operatives:
We're working on a new part of the gallery section with pictures of UTMC
members/readers and their rides. All we need is a snappy of you and your motorbike,
whatever name you go by online and where your located on the globe. If you prefer
not to have your face stapled to what others may view as deviant or criminal you
can always wear your helmet, or a bandanna or ski-mask for the photo. Pantyhose on
yer head will work well also ( just get some fresh ones). We do have school teachers,
ex-cops, military people and others who do not want to have their face available
on the site for nosy wankers to criticize. The section should be going up in the
next month or two.if this is something you'd be happy to contribute to,just
send in a photo. I'm hoping we can cover most states in the US and spots in a
few other countries if possible
• MMMMMM......Bonneville:
Yep, that's all the info I could get on it (courtosey of RevD and MotorcycleOnline
). If any of you UK readers have a black outfit, a ski mask and a wee bitty camera,
see if you can bust into the Triumph factory and get the scoop on this baby;-)
• Nothing like a little terrorism to brighten your morning:
In recent days, several wonderful acts of passive terrorism have occurred over the whole Napster hoopajoob. It seems hordes of talented hackers wanted to make themselves heard and did so, causing several websites to "change" a bit. They went around and jimmy'd into many servers and replaced the usual website's content with pro-Napster pages.
Calling it the "Save Napster Hack Attack," the hacking brethren have
whacked sites such as the
National Library of France, The Norway Post, Bank International Indonesia, Models
Network International, Thai Students Online, TDK USA Corp. and Nike Taiwan. Way to
go guys!
At the National Library of France one hacker left a message for Metallica that
read:
"To Metallica: Filing a law suit against Napster has probably made you lose
your image,
fans, and sales. All because you either wanted more money ... If you haven't realized
you
have also caused a chain reaction of other problems. Software developers looking
for the
same fame Napster got ... making your so called "problems" even worse."
The message went on to criticize the profit-driven motives of the music labels and
all of the industry execs. Also, there was a list of other sites defaced and a message
was provided for the administrator of the defaced website:
"To the System Admins of this Server: This server has not been harmed in any
way. If
you would like to know how to patch the vulnerability in this server then mail me
at ..."
On July 27, U.S. District Judge Marilyn Hall Patel (someone who has no idea what
the internet is, much less Napster) issued an injunction that would shut down Napster.
In her order she said, "Napster is enjoined from copying or assisting or enabling
or
contributing to the copy or duplication of all copyrighted songs and musical compositions
of which the plaintiffs hold rights,"
Two days later the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the injunction allowing
Napster to stay in business while the case made its way through the courts.
HA! Maybe some of these wanker musicians should get a fucking clue and remember
the goddamn reason they started making music in the first place!
• If you own a Zed:
Here's a cool page for all you Zed riders sent in by secret agent Johnny Socko of the 893
It's full of all sorts of Kwaka stuff, including a few home-grown custom rides
• Ever wanted to be a motorcycle cop???
RevD of the 893 sent me this one, it seems about accurate too. My only gripe is that ya can't bash in the cars!
http://www.newgrounds.com/police/bike.html
BTW, you'll need the shockwave plug-in for it to work.
8/16/00
• Turn on, Tune in, Burn out:
So last sunday, RevD and Toto, and me and Lisa, all packed into an air conditioned cage and were off to the superbike races. We woulda taken the bikes except Lisa's Zundapp isn't leagal yet, my Roadster was under a truck last I saw and I don't think the four of us woulda fit on the back of RevD's Speed Triple. So anyhu, we were able to get da special gimpy seating in the shade and watched the 250, 600, and Superbike races. All of them were fantastic, especially the superbike race, the best sportsman of em all won that one in my opinion.
On the downside, since the race is sponsored by the fuckin enemy, we had to sit and watch chevy trucks wank around the track in-between races. I swear, that's the only fuckin thing holding me back from joining the AMA, I liked it better when the races were sponsored by cigarrette companies, at least cigarettes give you years of pleasure before they kill you, chevy trucks just run you down and put you in pain. The fuckin idiots at the AMA should really find better sponsors, how about Viagra, or something.
RevD taped the races off of SpeedVision, so if any of you missed em just kick
me down an email. I'm gonna try to put together a tape with a bunch of the races
to send out, I'm gonna hold out for the last race of the season tho, and then dub
it up.
• Shaalllooooommmmmmm!!!!!:
Ok, time for something not really motorcycle related. This was sent to me by my brother Jon, all the jews in the UTMC will get an extra kick out of it:
If you're not a jew you'll probably like too tho.
• Survey Sez:
So Brothah Pavement has a little survey goin on on the message board right now
about the defenition of a streetfighter. The results will be part of an article he's
putting together, so if you want your 2 shiny copper bits heard, throw em on in.
Just go to the Rants & Rides section of the message board and look for the thread
titled "Define "STREET FIGHTER".
• Get out of jail free:
Just to show that reading the UTMC page can get ya out of some of the nastier things in life, I recently got this letter from a broth by the name of Curt:
"Enjoyed your article titled,
"How to get out of speeding tickets" ...
I was riding to Florida and while passing through Virginia, a state policeman pulled
me over doing 80 mph in a "less than 80 mph" zone.
I did just as you suggested... pulled over immediately.
Took off my helmet. Waited patiently. And also threw in the following quote after
the officer had taken my license and registration,
"Can I appeal to your sense of mercy?"
I told the officer, as respectfully as possible, that I was on parole and that I'd
appreciate any help he
could offer.
The officer actually let me off without a ticket... something that is supposed to
be impossibe, especially regarding Virginia State Policemen.
Never hurts to be polite or to ask for a break.
Curt"
n So I'm not saying reading the page faithfully will keep you out of jail, keep
your bike running well, make the opposite sex (or the same sex if that's yer gig)
fall for you, or any other fantastic stuff, but it shure as hell may help! Glad to
hear you got outta the ticket Curt, see you on the road.
• Fuckin Crack Addict!:
Sorry about the lack of news the last few days. As you all know I was run over by a big fuckin truck a couple of months ago and have been on all sorts of narcohappy drugs since. Well, I decided I was sick of floating in fuckin lala land all day with my IQ a third less than usual. So I dropped my dose of the narcohappies a couple weeks ago, and then did another big drop on monday. I'm still on em a couple of times a day (got em kickin in right now as a matter of fact) but there are huge gaps where Im not on em during the day. If any of you out there have ever been addicted to the heavy narcotics you know what I'm going through. Uncontrollible watering of the eyes, depression, lashing out at my girlfriend (who understands and is still taking wonderful care of me), difficulties talking to people, a severe distaste for phone communication, lack of energy, no willpower and zero ability to look on the bright side of fuckin anything. This really fuckin sucks right now, but I'll get better as the days go by, and I'd rather be miserable than stupid.
In good news, I only have 12 more days till I can start walking, that means less than a month and a half till I'm back on two wheels (I hope). I'm already trying to figure out exactly which bike I'm gonna get. I'm pretty sure it'll be the BMW 1200C, the only problem with that on is the difficulty of upping the horsies (for a 1200cc it only sits at 61bhp). Oh well, I don't really care a whole lot, I just wanna be back in the saddle.
Just another month and a half, I can't wait!
8/13/00
• Wot! No news?:
Heya folx, sorry I'm being such a slacker this weekend wif da news. On the good
side I've been out and aboot, gimping my broken ass all over town wif RevD. I'm feeling
pretty full of energy this weekend (I'll probably sleep all day tommorrow tho). So
anyuhu, It's off to the AMA Superbike races today at PPIR,
, for all of you that won't be able to see the races, I'm gonna try to tape em (unless
they get preempted by ladies golf or some shit) Hey, I also got a Akira video game
on Ebay! It's for some funky old Amiga console I don't think they ever sold on our
side of the pond, but I know a few Amiga geeks, so I'll try to get it workin'(yeah,
I might just buy a whole computer just to play one game, It may be the closest I
get to riding Kaneda's power bike). Speaking of riding bikes, I got as far as sitting
on a BMW R1200C yesterday, WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!. Also, I yakked wif Pavement last night,
he was riding and happy and should be officially legal on monday. Well, it's off
to the races, see ya!
8/10/00
• Lone Wolf trades in for a Triumph TT:
Lone Wolf recently traded his Triumph T509 Speed Triple for the new Triumph TT Legend, emerald green. He also sent a funny email about one of his test rides:
"Funny thing is right across the street from the Triumph dealership is the Harley Davidson dealership with their fanatics that stare at us like we were dirt. Well, while test riding the bitch, I decided to enter their parking lot, park it in between two sportsters while I smoked a cigarette.
One lady Harley rider approached me and asked me if the Trumpet was my bike and I told her that in a few minutes here, it would be mine as I was seriously considering the purchase. She told me that I would be better off on a Harley Sportster cause the 883 is cheaper and much more Kool than the Trumpet that did not have any personality to it!
I smiled at her and told her that I never did classify myself as a Poser!
I'm a biker and Kool has nothing to do with the reason I ride. I told her to look around her and seriously ask herself how many of these 1% wannabes really love to ride for the ride. She kindda just smiled back. She probably thought I was being a sour grape. I told her that for her own sake and enjoyment of riding not to mention for mere respect of her aching sportster butt, she oughta give this trumpet a try and know what it is to go a little faster than 55 miles an hour coz you want everyone to see ya!
She said my-my, don't we have a little rebel here...cool down, I'm just making conversation. That's when I mounted my trumpet, started the engine and replied to her..."Maam I did not park here for conversation, I parked here to make a point! Thanks for the Harley offer but no thanks, I think I'll go park some place else now! I left and as I turned she kept smiling as if saying ...you fucking jerk and right here on my turf...! I smiled back uttering you're fucking right, right here on your very own turf!
I drove off and made the deal. I like the Legend TT and I will miss the T509 terribly but something the Legend just had said "Take me Home"! Is that such a grave SIN?"
Well LW, I think that a sin would be trading your T509 for a lincoln navigator!
Enjoy the new ride, I hope to be picking up my new one in another 50 days (or so).
BTW, if you haven't seen this bike I suggest you wander over to the Triumph
webpage and take a gander, it's pretty cool.
• Reverend Todd Floundershorts gets a new ride:
Reverend Todd just scored a killer deal, an unbelevable deal, you may want to piss on him for this one;-)
Yep, it needs some carb work, but it only cost him one thou! Yep, $1,000 and out
da fuckin door widdit! Why don't the rest of us find deals like this? Congrats Todd,
it looks like your Daytona will see the road long before mine does!
• Why I'm glad I'm the webmaster:
Whenever I get an email like this one I'm glad I took the position of UTMC webmaster:
| "Hay I just read your mission statement. It was great, what
a refreshing change to hear that there are others like me out there. I used to call
myself the (anti-Harley biker) because in boise Idaho if you don't ride a harley
your not considered a biker. I have a bad ass 78 Suzuki GS1000 Black as night with
skulls and flames. I'm not a baby boomer high on meth in some screwed up brother
of satan club. I'm an ordinary gen x former marine. I work in an office and I love
to ride. Consider me part of your movement and thanks for the site." ---Scott / boise, Idaho |
 |
Welcome aboard Scott, it's great to have our numbers growing every day!
• SUV drivers fear for their lives, WOOHOO!!!!:
Apparently Bridgestone/Firestone Inc. has been selling some faulty SUV and truck tires! A yearlong police report investigation showed that the tires were more likely to fail in southern states in the summer. The tire is estimated to be responsible for 46 deaths, now that's impressive!
14.4 million of the wonderful tires have been produced, making pretty fair chances that this could have potentially removed 3,600,000 SUV's and trucks! Unfortunately, there will be a recall of these "tank killers". The good side is, the recall is of 13 million tires, and will take many months to complete, so with any luck we will clear the roads, even if temporarily, of even more nasty SUV's and trucks.
A big thanks goes out to Bridgestone/Firestone for this powerful weapon in the
fight to keep bikers from having to peel themselves off the front bumpers of big
roadtanks! BTW, anyone here know that 'Bridgestone' used to be a Japanese motorcycle
company? Kinda sounds like a little too much of a coicidence doesen't it? ;-)
Thanks Bridgestone
8/9/00
• Pavement once again to terrorize the roads:
Our brothah Pave has swindled back his lisence and will soon be back on the road,
causing chaos, wreaking havoc and randomly crashing into things. Lets allgive Pave
a big congrats and a warm welcome back to the roads which he so dearly missed.
• Occam's Razor fails:
For those of you who have studied science, you will recognise Occam's Razor as the rule that states: In the search fo a solution to a problem, the simplest or least complex theory is usually the correct one. The following email was sent to me by a Phd Microbiologist by the name of Karl:
"The correct spelling is, it appears: hoobajoo
and not my more parsimonious suggestion: hubaju
My current reference is a rule in a South Park-based Irish drinking game:
Chef says a nonsense word (i.e. metal hoobajoo). = 1 drink
which can be found at
http://www.irishabroad.com/Pubs/Games/south_park.htm
It's possible, however, that much like thru, the frequent usage of hoobajoo in the
English vernacular will lead to a modernized spelling.
--Karl"
Although this does not appear motorcycle related, upon further analasys it is
possible for a motorcycle to have a "metal hoobajoo" added. This task would
be as simple as making a custom thingy or a one-off doodad. The benefit tho, to adding
a hoobajoo, is that it would thereafter defy the laws of science, even if only mildly
so.
• Domain name for the UTMC:
So I finally decided that the UTMC page should have a cool domain name. Unfortunately, the following domains (the most obvious ones) are already taken:
UTMC.com
UTMC.net
UTMC.org
and I can't get UTMC.gov or UTMC.edu. So I have a few other ideas, but I wanted
to get feedback from the daily readers and see if anyone has a really killer idea.
If ya got one, please email it to me here,
or start a thread on the message board.
• Manzruin joins the ranks of "The Bikes Of The Webmasters":
So I was wandering the world wide wank this morning and stopped by the Bikes
of the Webmasters page. Upon my arrival I found that brothah Manzruin, webmaster
of the Bad Motorcycles for Bad People
page has been the most recent to be honored! Mucho congrats Manzruin!
8/8/00
--and it's anothah big maphukkin update!--
• Say hello to Avery Porras:
On Saturday morning Brooke gave birth to a baby girl. The name of this sweet little bundle of arms and legs is Avery Porras ( there might be a middle name in there too but me my meds are workin real good and I can remember) Brooke is doing very well and is very happy. Eyeball Eric is ecstatic and running around like a loon smiling his face off. He kicked down an email this morning:
"It's a GIRL 7.78Lb 19"3/4long and lots "O"hair! Hey every one ME and BROOKE just had AN itty Bitty! She is very cute she didn't look like me so much thank goodness! She is an incredible little thing and she responds quite well, sometime when she get used to the house I might bring her down to see every one. Thanks for all of the support and baby gifts.! "
Now that's what I call excited! Here are some photos of Mum and the little one:
Congratulations Eric and Brooke!
• The first installment of the Gallery is up! :
Yep, you heard right! I just finished the first section of the UTMC
gallery, with a biggass slew of photos of our dear friend Pavement's bike! The
name of the article/photoshoot is "Back Door Heroes", named after Pave's
ability to consistently melt the snow off the streets in the dead of winter. Take
a gander when you have the chance, and if you want your bike up on the Gallery section,
just lemmie know and we'll work out all the details (even if you happen to live in
another country it shouldn't be a problem)
• Just picked up a new motorcycle flick :
Just got a DVD called Megazone23, it's Japanese animation and looks to be pretty cool. Here's a blurb I found on the web:
"Megazone 23 (pronounced two-three, as Tokyo was known as Zone 23 during WW2) tells the story of Shogo, a disaffected biker in an 80's city. He and his friends spend a lot of time listening to Eve, the greatest idol singer. One day his friend shows him a prototype motorcycle that his company is developing called Garland. However, the military shows up and kills Shogo's friend, and Shogo has to flee on the bike. With the military in hot pursuit, some in humanoid robots, it seems Shogo too will be killed until his bike transforms into an upright humanoid, which fights off the military. "
Well, there is more...about a page and a half. So I'll spare you the rest and
just put a review of it up when I'm done watching it. Also, if any of you out there
have read a cool motorcycle book or have seen a cool motorcycle flick and got the
time to write a review, go ahead and send it in, we'll print it.
• The doc thinks me head is ok:
I went to the neurosurgeon yesterday to get my MRI read. As it turns out, my head looks ok and it appears all healed up from the smacks to the truck hood and the road. This makes me pretty fuckin happy as you would guess. I'm still having some difficulties wif all da cognitive bits, but the doc said it should go back to normal eventaually. Here's some photz of the MRI, pretty fuckin cool to see the inside of me head eh?
• RevD and Toto getting settled in to their new digz:
RevD Patrick and Toto are all moved in and proceeding with the nesting rituals.
RevD Patrick has got his Triumph Speed Triple gassed up ready to rumble and Toto
is getting things all lined up for college. If anyone in Colorado works in or knows
of a machine shop of any sort that's looking to hire a responsible hard workin bloke,
send the info to me and I'll pass it on
to RevD.
• Beemer Dan is "getting fat":
Last Saturday Arron Dacop nonchalantly told your webmaster he was "getting
fat". This was fantastic news to me, since as we all know I have a broken hip
and leg and therefore have a terrible fear of getting severely thin from sitting
in a chair eating and surfing the web all day. My extreme lack of exercise over the
last two months (spawning from the fact that I can't walk) was leading to paranoid
fears of getting all skinny n' shit! This news from our master of the obvious, Aaron,
was extremely helpful and heartwarming! Thanks Aaron, the term "wanker"
just doesn't do you justice;-)
8/5-6/00
WEEKEND UPDATE
--and it's a big maphukkin update too!--
• RevD and Toto to arrive today!:
RevD Patrick and Toto will be arriving today (Saturday) around high noon, feel
free to stop by and welcome em' to our crazy fuckin town. Gimmie (your fearless aka
can't walk) webmaster a call if ya need directions. Oh, BTW, they are moving in across
the street from me and Lis', so it'll be easy to find eh?
• Superbike Races at PPIR next weekend!:
Yeah, if you live in Colorado the AMA Superbike Races will fuckin be here next weekend tho! It's up at Pikes Peak International Raceway, located in Fountain, Co. I'll be draggin my gimpy ass up there to see all the action, since watching the motorcycle races is one of the only things keeping me sane. You can get all the details for the weekend, straight from the PPIR web page Here:
And you can get info on the ticket costs here:
http://www.ppir.com/ticketing/
If you were with us a couple of years ago when we went, you'll remember what a
killer time it was, it was the year Miguel Duhamel roasted everyone. Hey, maybe this
year Pavement's bike won't catch on fire during a rainstorm again;-)
• Joining
the ranks of "The Bikes Of The Webmasters":
So a week ago I found the Bikes of the Webmasters page, it's a page to show that the biker webmasters of the world aren't just a bunch of programming geeks eh, We RIDE! Well, we ride when we aren't on the mend from losing a streetfight with a big truck. Taff, the fella that runs the page said in his email:
"Top marks for style guarantees you a place!"
I'm sure you can guess that I sent him the snappies of my "Easychair-Rider"
I posted up here last week. So, your fearless webmaster is now rubbin elbows with
the likes of Taff of Slingshot UK, John of the NCC and John Bolt, a photographer
for Back Street Heroes, not that it means I'm anything more than the gimpy ass slacker
I wuz yesterday;-) Check out the Bikes
of the Webmasters page if ya get a chance, and scroll down the very bottom for
my appearance eh?
• /6 Aaron gets new digz:
This just in from our good pal:
"Just thought I would drop you a line and let you know
I bought a house yesterday. It's about 4 blocks from XXXXXXXX
and about 1 1/2 blocks south of XXXXXXX Park on XXXXXXXX.
I don't close until the end of September, but I wanted to let ya know. by the way
I haven't seen Spider in a while and I figured he would want to live in my new garage,
it's a little posh for him tho'...it has electricity so he might feel out of sorts."
Congrats man! Be sure to let us know when the bigass housewarming pahty is eh!
• What to do when yer doctor sez OOPS!:
In this case, celebrate! We yakked with the ortho doc again yesterday just to
clarify things and got good news. You see, he thought I was 6 weeks out of surgery
when I was really eight, so it turns out that I'll be walking in three and a half
weeks instead of the six that he told me on Thursday, WOOHOO! That means I just might
be walking and be able to get a new bike and get one more day of riding in before
the snow hits!
• Picture of the week:
I dug this one from the gallery over at Al's Bikers1 Page! A killer page definitely worth a looksie:
8/4/00
• I don't think we're in SanFran anymore Toto:
So RevD and Toto of the 893 were supposed to be here yesterday but it seems they
are a bit behind schedule...or something. I'll post it up when they do get here,
maybe a few of us locals could help em move in or just bring a six pack and say howdy
to welcome em to the land of black helicopters I'll keep everyone up to date on thingz
tho, so check back over the weekend eh?
• 6 fucking more motherfucking goddamn weeks.....FUCK!
That was the bad word from the ortho doc yesterday. My lower leg is good enough that I can begin to put a bit of weight on it, but the hip will be another 6 fucking chrutch filled gimpy ass weeks! I'm getting better, but I'm not better enough yet. This new schedule places me on a cane and back on a bike around thanksgiving, if all goes well. Fuck!
I would greatly appreciate it if some of you would slash a tire on a SUV or a
truck this weekend. Kind of a symbol of sorts, one of us can't go anywhere, so a
few of the trucks can't either. Thanks.
• Kellen parties it up widda Mtv brits:
Here's a photo in from Kellen at her work party. I can't post the other photos she sent me cause they are way too graphic. Now the pix have gotta be really fuckin graphic and disturbing for me not to be posting em! I mean, we got severed heads and donkey shows and pictures of Richard Nixon on here....and the photos from Kellen scared even me! So here's the tame photo:
I'm shure she'll be bringin me back my Roof helmet filled with haggus for this;-)
8/2/00
• Outlaws:
The Cop that arrived at the scene of my accident gave the driver at fault, a careless redneck moron in one of the biggest trucks made and then jacked up 3 feet higher than the law allows, a ticket for running a red light. She didn't ticket him for having a illegally modified vehichle or for reckless driving, wreckless endangerment or in any way endangering the life of anyone. It was like he never even ran me over, like I wasn't even there.
Some of the nurses and doctors and random people seem to think that it's my fault that I was run over by a worthless jackass in a big truck not paying attention. It was my fault because I was on a "dangerous motorcycle".
The district attorney promised me, my girlfriend and my lawyer that she would up
the charges of the bastard that hit me, then never even showed for the trial.
The judge at the truck driver's trial seemed to think I was asking for what I got riding a motorcycle. The truck driver said that his light must have been green, otherwise he would have hit more people. The Judge encouraged him several times and finally convinced him to take the plea bargian, 2 points and an $80 fine, defective vehichle. that's odd, I thought it was attempted murder.
Now I find out that the truck drivers lawyer and in insurance company can subpoena al of my medical records, including those from my pschologist. Why, so they can laugh about what a great job they did fucking up my life?
All of these fuck off morons in main stream scociety wonder how motorcyclist can become psychotic freaks not fit for public exposure. How they can become merciless angry lunatics that could care less who they hurt.........
maybe we aren't born that way....
maybe that is how society breeds us to be
8/2/00
• Vicadin Induced Chopper Dreams:
Strange dreams yesterday caused by the narcohappiemedz, EasychaiRiders? time to back off the high dosage of pain killaz maybe....
• Crazy Rob Cuts Off HIs Wazoos:
In going with the theme of recent events, namely Ames getting a chopper, Rob went ahead and cut off his Wazoos yesterday. He apparently was reported to have said "You guys just just make life hard, I feel like you are getting more out of this deal than me!" He gave them back the keys and left. He already has a new gig lined up and is very excited about the change. His girlfriend was nervous at first, but trusted Rob's judgment that things would be much better.
The smoking frog in his pocket was not available at this time for comment.
• Spot
the Tire:
This just in from Stefan of The Rat Bike Zone
"dunno if the new Mission: impossible movie (aka M:I.2) is out in Americuh yet, but if you gonna see it watch out for the red & black Triumphs suddenly changing tires (from road to knobbly and back) in mid sequence. I counted 5 times but then I only saw it on a pirate video
later,
Stefan / RatBikeZone"
So that's yer homework folx, the first TWO people to email me and accurately tell me how many times the tire changed, each get a special treat:
An official UTMC "FTFS : Fuckin Trucks Fuckin Suck" t-shirt, available
as soon as I can get em done;-)
