A real biker. Now that's an odd concept here in the Untied States of Americuh. Ya see, if you ask the common public to describe a "real biker", they'll describe some huge fat greasy bearded longhair bastard with a bunch of tattoos. His mum died in childbirth and his pappy was an alcoholic who beat him up till he ran away at the age of 6, he can't read or write, he's mean on the outside but a big teddy bear to folx he likes, oh, and he rides a harley. Well that just shows you how much the average joe knows about bikers, bikes and reality, average joe don't know bollox aboot nothin! A real biker doesn't fit any outlaw bullshit stereotype, a real biker rides, loves to ride, will kill to ride, end of fucking story, no sissy beards n' shit about it. Here's Eyeball Eric, he's about as "real biker" as you can get without dying on a bike. He's been working on bikes and riding em since he was what...four? Yeah, I think, you'd have to ask his Dad (Art the Fart) to be sure. Anyhu, Since I've known Eric he's been riding and wrenching, he's the guy who doesn't sleep for three days before everyone goes on a road trip cause he's fixing everybody's scoots. He can look at just about any oil and dirt covered bike bit and tell ya what it's from. He can also fix anything....just make sure he has the right part and tools or else he may endup using a leatherman, a hammer, gum and a piece of spring steel.
Not to say that it won't fix the problem, but some folx like things to look all stock. Anyhu, Eric's first real pride and joy was a 650 Triumph Bonneville with a 750 motor wedged into it, royal blue and real nice, any 30 year old woulda been proud to own it, Eric was 16 at the time, he'd built it up himself and he was as happy as they come. One fateful terrible night he was following his girlie as she drove along in her car, they were on their way somewhere with her in the lead. So she's going about 40 and suddenly slams on her brakes at a green light and POW! Eric didn't stand a chance. We realized on short order his girlie was a fuggin loon and the world would be a better place with her missing. Eric meanwhile, was in the emergency room. His nads had lost in a collision with the Trumpets gastank, leaving a dent in the tank the size of an ashtray and leaving Erics hangy down bits were torn open like a box of toys on christmas morning.
	Well the story gets worse before it gets better. A slimy little rat bastard made off with Eric's bike during his recovery, the cops gave HIM the ticket and the bitch girlie didn't fall down a flight of stairs. Eric spent 3 months in a basement in pain slowly healing. When he recovered, he became so infuriated with everything that had happened he decided he wasn't gonna get funky with any girlies for a bit. And since his parts already had some serious nerve damage, he tattooed an eyeball on the head of his dong, along with a cigar band on the bottom and flames goin down the side.
n the years past things have been looking up for Eric tho, he's got the Bandit streetfighter you see here and a real nice Honda Shadow custom that'll be showing up here in the future. His love life has improved a great deal too. He's got a sweetheart of a girl named Brooke who care about him lots and doesn't try to kill him. They also have a little one named Avery who was just born a month ago. He's starting to domesticate a little, but not to worry about him turnin into an old softie. He's still wrenching on bikes as much as ever, riding like a lunatic, and he's still got the eyeball tattooed on the head of his wank. If that tattoo didn't make him turn into an impotent softie cryin like a little baby, I think we can be pretty sure he'll be riding forever.

Name: Evil Bitch Year: 1998 Make: Suzuki Model: 1200S Bandit

Fuel System and Pipe: Drilled and shaven stock exhaust , Dynojet stage 2 kit, K&N lungs Stuff that makes it go like the blazes simply b'cause its there: Like it needs anything eh?? Bits Yanked: stock front fairing assembly removed, air box removed, California smoggy box and can yanked, little plastic bits, Straight up funky cosmetic stuffe': Thong fairing wif funky headlight, rear fender hacked, corbin seat, bar end Mirrors, Super Heavy Duty, Stronger than the Dogs Bollox Omega O-ring chain, tank bra ( so she don't sag)