Soup Is Good Food by: Dallas What is it with me and I-95 North!?!? I’m riding between Philly and points North today (12/21/99) Just enjoying my new 2000 Kawasaki ZR7 that I’d purchased for my birthday nearly a month prior. I’m coming off a classic bike and riding this piece of modern machinery is really doing good things to my ego.

Six gallons of gas atop a fuel efficient air-cooled engine with oil cooler. Little Euro-style touring bars with just the right amount of rise and pullback to sit me almost upright. I don’t feel jarred or beat up during or after rides even without a fairing. At stoplights I have to blip the throttle to remind myself its still on! Later I stopped grinning like a schoolgirl and keep an eye on the tac instead. This thing has a gas gauge and mirrors that work! Turn signals that let others know my intentions without sticking an appendage into traffic. The only thing it doesn’t have is a kick starter. Uh, I digress........

I’m chugging along trying to keep the tac below 5,000rpm until the required 600 mile break-in period is done. Hell I can go 70mph at 5k! <slipping again> I’m digging the scenery and trying to get used to this full face helmet when off to my right I see a passing red tractor trailer. I notice that in front of the truck is a smashed industrial/commercial sized can of something. All of asudden I got the eerie premonition it was going to come my way. Fiddlesticks! It was in the other lane and that truck was going to run it over not kick it diagonally at me. I guess you folks can tell I failed college level math. My professors would be laughing once again because the trajectory was straight out
of the twilight zone. This thing was coming right at me like a shuriken in a kung fu flick! Nothing like the sight of a spinning gold hunk of metal flinging cheese, soup or some other foodstuff while closing in to give ya that asswhuppin momma forgot to give ya. I’m doing 65mph with nowhere to hide and Ican’t duck! It bounced off my knuckles cutting me clean through my winter gloves and then whallops me in the jaw! If I was still wearing my WWI doughboy helmet (shaddup I’m patriotic), I would’ve been out cold. It hit me with the force of a Tyson uppercut. I started to pray for help but decided it might’ve been HIM punishing me for taking the bike out on such a frigid day. To all you guys riding your cruisers and making fun of the guys in their fancy-dancy full face helmets; UP YOURS!!! (exception: You guys with the color co-ordinated bikes/duds/helmets or the ones with 8milion colors or little eyes, flames, etc. TAKE DAT SHIT OFF!) If I was riding with my knees in the breeze and chin in the wind, I wouldn’t be writing this from the comfort of my home. I’d be
hospitalized or worse! Luckily the helmet shrugged off the impact without damage (uh, it did get scratched) and I held firm to the bars till I reached my destination. The only thing other than the little ding on the helmet is that whatever foodstuff was in that can splattered on my front brakelever and where it enters the housing. I’d have to disassemble the whole thing to get it all. So I wiped off what I could and hopefully a splash of water’ll take care of the rest. I am writing this with my right index finger swollen and nicked, but I’m OK and will probably live to ride another day. I’m also going to nod my head instead of stick my nose in the air the next time a rider in a full face passes me by.

Dallas is a resident of Philidelphia and the proud owner of a new Kawasaki ZR7. He's been on bikes since the age of 16 and doesn't drive cars. He is also the drummer for the kickass punk band Thorazine. You can read reviews about Thorazine here, see thier videos here, or buy CD's here.